@JoshMarino420: if potheads are lazy then why did I just go to my car to get a lighter?
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@PaperWash: [3 dads circling new neighbor on their bikes] "im not looking for any trouble" all three dads in unison: HI NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE IM DAD
@AndRyanTF: I'm not high! - high people I'm not drunk! - drunk people I'm not lying! - lying people I'm not gay! - my brother
@Chase_Observes: Don’t believe in aliens, huh? Explain how people in the 1800s got on top of those bicycles with the huge front wheels.
@jazmasta: *strums ukulele* This one goes out to my ex wife, Lucy. It's called "I know how much you hate ukuleles so I wrote a 9 minute ukulele song"