@Livsey1: If Private Ryan was Black...it would be called.."Sorry for your loss Mrs.Ryan."
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@PinkCamoTO: If you think Lord of the Flies couldn't happen, you've clearly never seen a group of 7 year olds go after a piñata.
@EndhooS: *Wife blows me a kiss from across the room* *I pretend to catch it* *I walk over to the window and toss it outside* "Grow up Karen"
@simoncholland: Hope my marriage can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
@SICKOFWOLVES: PLEASE SEND HELP I STOPPED BUYING AVOCADOS AND NOW I AM DROWNING IN COINS AND KEYS TO VARIOUS PROPERTIES I OWN OH GOD IS THIS HOW I DIE