@Livsey1: If Private Ryan was Black...it would be called.."Sorry for your loss Mrs.Ryan."
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@geraintgriffith: "This is the fourth lot of bacon to go missing this week. It can only mean one thing." "What's that Sarge?" "Someone's building a pig."
@AHundredElbows: [home late] Where were you? "Uh, with my.. gf?" Gf? Well, tell us about her! What's her name? [commercial on tv] uh.. Lisa.. Brandnewtoyota
@tastefactory: COP: Damn I left my regular handcuffs at home, all I have is these candy handcuffs. I trust that u won't eat ur way out of these CROOK: Sure