@Stabby_smurf: If procrastinating were an Olympic sport, I would show up just in time to miss the medal ceremony.
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@ibid78: "Something's wrong. He's never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
@Henry_3k: *Goes back in time to kill the inventors of Twitter. Returns home to amaze friends on Facebook with endless jokes about vodka & pizza.*
@sammyrhodes: My leg brushed against the toilet in a Starbucks bathroom. Goodbye leg. You were a good leg.