@ItsAndyRyan: If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet.
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@thegayfarmerguy: The wind blew a smart car into my lane and I had to roll down my window and swat it out of the way.
@Squizbot: I would never cheat in a relationship because that would require two people finding me attractive.
@SteveToyne: 'I'm Spartacus' 'No I'm Spartacus' 'I am Spartacus' 'I AM Spartacus' 'I'm Spartacus' 'Look I just need someone to sign for the package'
@AndyAsAdjective: [my kid, literally every school morning] "I hate mornings. I'm not getting up" [1st day of summer vacation] "dad, can we watch the sunrise"