@shariv67: If Rapunzel was a brunette, she'd have just opened the front door.
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@iAmDelFreaky: When somebody unfollows me, I want to go on a shopping spree and walk into their house while holding bags and say, "Big mistake. Big. Huge!"
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm working on a screenplay called '127 Seconds' about my fat co-worker getting his hand stuck in a Pringles tube.
@3sunzzz: "I'm not letting you outside again," I say to my dog right before I let her outside again.
@fro_vo: Guy in Car: get out of my way idiot Guy in Crosswalk: pedestrians have the right of way Car Guy: this ain't Pedestria buddy this is America