@GrandadJFreeman: If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
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@patnspankme: Great way to make friends is to pee in the same urinal someone else is already using.
@DamienFahey: "VROOM VROOM! VROOM VROOM VROOM! SCREECH!" - Entire script for Fast and the Furious 6
@SaxMouse: When you get to jail, challenge the biggest, baddest guy in there to rock, paper, scissors in front of all his friends