@SuperApple8: If Ryan Gosling doesn't ask me to be his valentine, I'm moving on. This ship has sailed. This ball has sunk. This fart has flatulated.
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@SchlubbyHubby: Lately I'm very optimistic about the future of my marriage... I caught my husband on Tinder, so hopefully he'll meet somebody... soon...
@Angrea: Someone just told me to "have a blessed day." What do you even say to someone like that? I just hissed at them.
@shesxridiculous: If I was a waitress, I would plant fake engagement rings in every girls champagne glass, just to watch the boyfriends panic.