@lovemydogduck: If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee
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@jonnysun: "can we take the magic schoolbus" no. today is reading day "please" sit down "please ms frizz" u've gone to space but u dont kno how to read
@cdncyn: I got thrown out of the zoo today.... apparently you're not allowed to feed the ducks..... to the alligators........
@CorkyKneivel: [in bed] "No, I'm serious Amy. If this were a buddy cop movie would you try to avenge my murder even after the Chief took your gun & badge?"
@BeCoco77: He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans.