@dril: IF SATAN IS READING THIS PLEASE MAKE THE FINGERBOARD ON MY DESK DO 1 FLIP
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@UncleDuke1969: Cardinal: Ordinations are down Pope: Maybe a recruiting poster? C: Slogan? P: "We separate the men from the boys!" C: Um... Any other ideas?
@StarksWeek: I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want
@ArfMeasures: [being chased round my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on
@iinkedZombie: Wife: "Oh my God! You really ONLY hear what you want!" Me: "Thanks! I've been working out!"