@Fuqyoupayme: If school isn't the place to sleep, then home isn't the place to study.
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@CanadianCyn: The garbage man is late. I think he's been cheating on me with some other piece of trash.
@sucittaM: Tell the guy at the first drive-thru window that you want the guy at the second window to throw your food into the car without you stopping.
@Karissajem: Husband just asked if I was too drunk to cook dinner. Ha! Does he think I'm some sort of amateur? *googles how to cover up burnt eyebrows*
@Christweetpher_: [black jack] DEALER: 14 ME: hit me D: 16 M: hit me D: 23 M: hit me D: M: D: M: make it look good so my wife believes I was mugged