@JamieGreenlees: If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it.
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@JoshontheGo: I've worn glasses three quarters of my life, but I still manage to poke myself in the eye every now and then putting them on!
@Ristolable: [Christopher Nolan on the set of Batman Begins] Great Batman voice, Christian! Terrific stuff! [aside] maybe Batman shouldn't talk
@hello_saylor: As your goth coworker, I will change all “Out of order” signs to “Haunted” signs. Sorry, you can’t use that printer- it’s haunted.
@zoeklar: One time John Waters spilled water on me and my mom said "thank god his name isn't John Barbecue Sauce!"