@Matt_the_1st: If Seal was my friend, I would never miss an opportunity to ask him, "Wanna go clubbing?"
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@MicheleAKALips: When life hands you 3 kids..... You add the lemons to some vodka and hide in the closet.
@retardedwriter: This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd "Shona baby"
@WheelTod: I can't afford an electric toothbrush, so I just roll a baby hedgehog in some toothpaste and hold in it my mouth for 15 minutes.
@wesjohnson8: My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.