@Matt_the_1st: If Seal was my friend, I would never miss an opportunity to ask him, "Wanna go clubbing?"
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@TheMichaelRock: All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!
@Awk0Tacoo: Cat: Human, congratulations, I've chosen your face to sleep upon tonight. If at some point you cannot breathe, do not wake me.