@Matt_the_1st: If Seal was my friend, I would never miss an opportunity to ask him, "Wanna go clubbing?"
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@Marlebean: Dear future self, No, you weren't robbed. You left your house like this. Sincerely, You, you dumb slob.
@RandomAntics: He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.