@SwartyComedy: If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd write a tragedy about the fate of the single French fry that comes with every order of onion rings.
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@LaBelleMae: Here in Canada, we leave everything unlocked so that burglars don't risk getting glass in their hand when they punch through our windows.
@wineoclock39: Sometimes I shock myself with smart things I say. Other times, I struggle to get out of my car with the seatbelt on.
@Mr_Kapowski: Just a typical Sunday morning of going on and writing Amazon reviews for cheese graters rating them low and saying "not good toys for kids"