@SaraThomas84: If shame burned calories, I'd be back to my birth weight by now
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@JWilsonGA: I don't know what "swag" is, but I was just told Justin Bieber & Lil Wayne both claim to have it. So, I'm assuming it's not talent.
@ParentNormal: I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting.
@tastefactory: I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up.