@SaraThomas84: If shame burned calories, I'd be back to my birth weight by now
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@carlyken: Pony: "I love hay so much I-" Dad: "Why don't you marry it, ya big nerd?" *pony grows up* *becomes Horse Emperor* *legalizes hay marriage*
@Sarcasticsapien: My favorite parts of the Bible are when Jesus is alone talking to God (himself) and someone who wasn't there is writing about it.
@shopkins776: I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating