@ericsshadow: If she calls me cheap one more time I'm gonna return her anniversary gift to 7/11.
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@SortaBad: "I'm excited for the continental breakfast" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* "What the..." Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica
@reczit: Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone.
@TheAlexP: I don't often get suspicious,but squirrels rubbing their tiny hands together? I worry they won the lottery & hired a good hit & run attorney