@ericsshadow: If she calls me cheap one more time I'm gonna return her anniversary gift to 7/11.
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@SadPeruna: Nothing is creepier than watching someone hula hoop with a serious look on their face.
@OBiiieeee: a girl took a grilled cheese out of her purse and threw it across the street like a frisbee to me i never thought i'd be able to love again
@nicfit75: Listen lady, you have 2 options. Either make your baby stop eyeballing me, or she & I can go outside to settle this.
@robdelaney: Just dyed a bald eagle red, white & blue & forced my family to eat 3 apple pies each. We're all crying. It's awesome.