@ericsshadow: If she calls me cheap one more time I'm gonna return her anniversary gift to 7/11.
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@ericsshadow: If you had to decide between being fat and rich or poor and skinny, what bridge would you sleep under?
@Tacet_no_more: When my wife says "I don't want to talk about it" that's woman code for you better put your life on hold for 2 hours & find out what "It" is
@Awk0Tacoo: I can't get mad when I hear babies screaming in public because honestly, I feel the same way sometimes.
@Mr_Kapowski: "Get your poop in a group" is a childish way of saying "get your shit together" but I prefer my take of "gather the pieces of your feces"