@J0hnnyBlaze: If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her
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@bea_ker: Newsreader: Police are asking anyone with any information- Me: [shouting at TV] You lose 90% of your heat from your head
@jessokfine: [Me at job interview] And, how seriously does your company take allegations of witchcraft?