@Neuronicism: If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong.
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@histwaddle: Two cans of Red Bull may give you x-ray vision, but five cans give you the ability to hear oxygen.
@justabloodygame: *detective bangs on table* I SAID GIVE ME A NAME! "Uh, Aaron?" Aaron... I like it! *'Aaron' leaves interrogation room, ready for a new life*
@suzieQ0007: Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.
@torrami: Dragons aren't evil; they're just upset that they can't enjoy Popsicles and other frozen treats.