@chopper4jk: If she ever says: What did you just say!? I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.
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@danchovy: I'm the dog whisperer. I'll whisper the word "dog" 20.. hell, 30 times if the price is right
@sickipediabot: Adele has announced that she will be singing the theme for the next James Bond film. Diet Another Day will be released in 2014.
@BBQJones28: For every chick that's crying about no good guys out there...there's a dude she's ignoring that's good to her.
@CarpentersCrack: I date waitresses so I can ask them if everything is ok when their mouth is full.