@chopper4jk: If she ever says: What did you just say!? I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.
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@jessokfine: My husband got some virtual reality goggles for christmas and so far I like them because they make him very vulnerable to attack.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: An email from my parents: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: Obama's a Muslim
@SamuelHLowe: Aliens must know that we're an easily conquerable race if they've ever seen us try to cancel a printer job.
@omically: saying "we won" after watching a sports game is like saying "we played really well" after watching a concert