@Tharin_P: If she likes old school hip-hop, she probably wants the D12.
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@PlatinumShower: Every time the wife pisses me off, I hollow out her tampons and pack them with strawberry Pop Rocks.
@MarfSalvador: Him: This is the best sand castle I've ever built! Her: We're gonna die in this desert aren't we?
@OhNoSheTwitnt: What do you call the yellow ones? -Yellow labs. And the black ones? -Black labs. So the brown ones are- -No we named those after dog poison.
@SatansTongue: *walks in stumbling* Jesus, Paul how much have you had?!? "Just a couple shots" Oh that's not bad then *flashback to Paul injecting heroin*