@warhorse76: If she runs away I will pursue her. But since she possesses superior footspeed and cardio I may have to borrow someone's bicycle.
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@ericsshadow: [talking to life insurance agent] Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money? No thanks.
@mrbenwexler: Q: Name your favorite foreign leader. GARY JOHNSON: Nice trick question, Chris- they all already HAVE names!
@TheAlexNevil: Parents: don't give your child the answers to his homework. He needs to learn on his own that you don't know what you're talking about.