@SteveDutzy: If she shovels shit at the local zoo, then she's a keeper
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@lazerdoov: *in a job interview* No no it's not a teardrop tattoo it's supposed to be sweat. It shows I'm a hard worker
@vexroid: Her: How in the world did we max out the credit card?? Me: Beats me *pushes $20K worth of Care Bears under the bed
@rzarosco: Nice try weed people... Are we just supposed to legalize anything that comes from the ground? What's next potatoes?
@Poutymcgee: "THE PLATYPUS HERE TASTES LIKE SHIT! DO NOT ORDER IT!" I shout in the face of a confused and frightened old lady at the zoo.