@SteveDutzy: If she shovels shit at the local zoo, then she's a keeper
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@scottthetwat: Drug sniffing dogs are wrong 80 percent of the time. You would be too if you were sniffing drugs all day.
@Brianhopecomedy: My buddy has a telescope but I don't think he uses it for astronomy. I asked what his favourite constellation was and he said, "Samantha".
@MrSandeepP: Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?