@SteveDutzy: If she shovels shit at the local zoo, then she's a keeper
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@Ristolable: A guy I know just posted "I'm relaxing today, don't bother me" on Facebook, and let me tell you: I was going to bother him but now I'm not
@thenoahkinsey: As long as the stupid phrase "interracial relationship" exists, I'm going to refer to same race ones as a "color-coordinated relationship."
@ShockTartBionic: Your baby's got pink eye, bronchitis AND a double ear infection? Are you even trying to keep him alive?