@Albert30960851: If she wants to be chased, she better steal my pizza or something
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@AmericanGent69: Me: *leads her to bedroom* This is where the magic happens. Her: Nice *4 rabbits jump out of a hat as a flower squirts water in her eye
@sixthformpoet: Q: What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow? A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night?!
@LindaInDisguise: Done with dating sites. I'm now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza.