@MsSugar_Kisses: If she's freaking out, kiss her forehead, hug her & call her beautiful.. If she growls, throw chocolate at her from a safe place
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@SomthinBoutSara: If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE
@Free_the_DJ: When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.
@hippieswordfish: 'maybe the world wasn't ready for pizza perfume' i thought to myself as i hid in a dumpster, watching the townspeople try to eat each other