@CheryeDavis: If she's not ruining your life.....She's just not that into you.
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@SarcasticAlly12: "I see you have created a tiny human. I, too, have done this." -me trying to make mom friends. Should I not whisper it? I'll try shouting
@Kendragarden: Diet tip: If you think you're hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel.
@AnnDabromowitz: When I'm CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."