@CheryeDavis: If she's not ruining your life.....She's just not that into you.
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@JasonLastname: Farmers are always so proud of themselves until you ask if they can put the milk back in the cow
@Marlebean: [outside a blazing house] Firefighter: ... Me: ... Firefighter: ... Me: ... There was a spider.
@FreudsTwin: I was up all night wondering, if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?