@Parentpains: If six years of marriage has taught me anything its that couches are surprisingly comfortable to sleep on.
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@Home_Halfway: Writing "Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram
@Pat_Bren: Hey, Sean Bean, it's either pronounced Shaun Baun or Seen Bean. You can't have it both ways.
@sara_ashlynn: Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.