@samalmightysam: If Socrates had been a woman, he would've said: All I know is that I have all these clothes, but I have nothing to wear.
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@JediGigi: [he picks me up on 1st date] Him: What do you have there? Me: [struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down] Ham.
@therealeatwood: GURU: You have achieved the state of sakṛdāgāmin: you will reach nirvāṇa within seven lifetimes ME: [slipping him a $20] How about six