@HMittelmark: If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, "DID YOU WRITE THIS?"
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@ryaninco: North Korea is becoming like that annoying person that always threatens to close their Twitter account from lack of attention.
@SexytotheNorth: The Cheesecake Factory is finally coming to Canada! ...now I can stop being so nice to the Americans.
@MUMSIEesq: The ugly duckling grew up to be a beautiful swan. A beautiful, self-conscious, mentally unstable, overmedicated, antisocial swan.
@heyevergreen: Wrong hole. Wrong hole. Wrong hole. Wrong hole. -trying to put on my distressed denim jeans