@HMittelmark: If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, "DID YOU WRITE THIS?"
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@vineyille: Celebrating christmas in another country, santa leaves a chicken cutlet in my boot. "Is that good?" No one will make eye contact with me.
@Shock_Monster: Nurse: Your name, please? Me: Dr. Feelgood. Nurse: ... Me: ... Nurse: You're not a Dr. are you? Me: No, I won't make you feel good, either.
@Dawn_M_: If that cute guy doesn't approach you at a bbq, he is probably just intimidated by how many sausages you're eating.