@madcaplaughs30: If somebody stops to ask me directions, I give them directions to my house. see you in twenty minutes new best friend.
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@Hellaphantitis: At my funeral play the Super Mario original theme until my casket is lowered in the ground then play the underground music
@DaddyJew: [buying college textbooks] That'll be 100 million dollars [returning college textbooks] We can give you half off on this pencil case
@GuyThe_Guy: They say if you choose a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I have to work tomorrow.