@madcaplaughs30: If somebody stops to ask me directions, I give them directions to my house. see you in twenty minutes new best friend.
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@SaraESpivey: My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now.
@mydanimarie: Kind of cruel how preschool and the Muffin Man teach girls that they might one day find a guy made entirely out of muffins.
@KyleMcDowell86: ME: I need help losing weight. I've tried everything. NARRATOR: He hadn't tried anything at all. Nothing.