@TragicAllyHere: If someone asks if you've been crying just say, "why... do you want to watch?" and it will weird them out enough to leave you alone
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@gigglegirlnoel: If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.
@LuvPug: Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber.