@shutupmikeginn: if someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
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@Parentpains: Some coworkers remind me of my ex, because I would jump in front of a bus to get out of a conversation with them too.
@iamburtjarvis: nurse: are you allergic to any medicine? me: laughter nurse: hahaha. OH MY GOD- me [face swelling up]: i thold thou.