@shutupmikeginn: if someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Current adult status: Just got into a heated debate about whether or not Merida from Brave is a Disney princess. I won. She is not.
@AimeeHelene1: I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone.
@FullGrownChris: "Where are you all going?" A lifeboat. The Titanic is sinking. "You guys are booked til 2. Trust me, this'll be great exposure for your band
@Jazzzzzmina: After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt.