@owlcity: If someone calls me a sir one more time I will literally wear a top hat and a monocle and roll my eyes so hard you will not survive.
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@beefman138: 3 : Daddy, can we watch Frozen? Me : Sorry, darling. We can't watch Frozen in the summer because all the characters will melt.
@MaryKoCo: If ur late to an appt, just tell them u had another one, but were on time to that one. That way they associate you with punctuality
@PJTLynch: Gang tip: If a rival gang tags their symbol on your turf, don't cover it. Add a drawing of Calvin peeing on it. Now who's stupid? They are!
@kpcuk: There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the right application of fonts and colours