@HelmdawgE: If someone calls me "boo" I automatically assume they're trying to scare me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SukaBlunt: I learned 2 things at least when I was married 1. Always passcode lock your phone 2. Don't use a nude pic of your gf as the lock screen
@LetMeStart: 8yo, as I read her a fairy tale at bedtime: WOW your chin is hairy. Me: ...so the witch threw the overly-observant kid in the oven. The End.
@SamuelHLowe: I bought some super sensitive condoms a few months ago and they won't stop crying because I don't use them.