@Amburglar_: If someone came to my door & said "We'll give you a dollar for every plastic bag shoved under your kitchen sink." I'd be living large.
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@notxzibit: Google search history: Marawana Marjawana Is there a j in marawana Wheat Wheat for smoking Free wheet
@joeheenan: I've discovered my home doesn't have a basement. It was just the estate agent doing that walking down the stairs thing behind the couch
@kcmoore51: I hate when my wife says her friend at work "got flowers again today" and I have to kill that chick's husband.
@RadOrDie: I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.