@Amburglar_: If someone came to my door & said "We'll give you a dollar for every plastic bag shoved under your kitchen sink." I'd be living large.
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@iwearaonesie: i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her he thinks we're growing up too fast "they're in there daring each other to eat dog food"
@underchilde: I was sad nobody would go jogging with me, so I threw a rock at my neighbor, and when he started chasing me I felt much better.
@PhillyCollins10: 12 dudes escaped jail by writing a fake cell number on an exit with PEANUT BUTTER and the writers of Prison Break are kicking themselves rn
@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them