@kramediggles: If someone catches me staring I quickly look to my left & right so they think "oh that girl's not looking at ME she's looking at EVERYTHING"
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@weinerdog4life: Turn your proctologist into a magician by stuffing 45 feet of scarves in your butt.
@StickyickyBuns: My mom always told me to treat people how I want to be treated but... It's not nice to just spank people & pull their hair.
@stephenjmolloy: [3rd date] Kate: You wanna come back to mine for coffee? Ian: Sure! Kate: Have you got any condoms? Ian: Do you not know how to make coffee?