@El_nacho_Nigre: If someone catches you doing something inappropriate don't stop, just do it slowly while keeping eye contact.
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@SomeChrisTweets: HELLO, 911? I'M FALLING DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. YES, RIGHT NOW. VERY SLOWLY, THAT'S HOW. HOLD ON, SOMEONE JOINED. WHOA, NOW WE'RE FALLING UP
@semenphantom: *opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* "The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."
@RuffaloShuffle: Arnold Schwarzenegger glancing up excitedly and then looking away disappointedly multiple times while watching the intro to "Hey Arnold"
@Rollinintheseat: I wonder why nobody told Forrest Gump's mom that all you have to do is flip over the box of chocolates and it tells you what's inside.