@LoveNLunchmeat: If someone dies from laced cocaine, does the coroner write "devastating blow" on the death certificate?
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@FinallyHeSleeps: My kids heard, "Sorry. Life is over as you know it. May as well curl up and die." What she said was, "Sorry, our shake machine is down."
@TitansHomer: My daughter just asked for a Samsung Galaxy phone. Had to sit her down and explain to her we aren't poor. #iPhone