@LoveNLunchmeat: If someone dies from laced cocaine, does the coroner write "devastating blow" on the death certificate?
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@thedailymarker: Ladies, if all he does is make you cry then maybe you're dating an onion and not a man.
@shutupmikeginn: "Dont put all your eggs in one basket," is a lie perpetuated by Big Basket to sell more baskets
@julieklausner: If I were Santa Claus, I'd have my agent be like "He's not doing it this year if Ronald McDonald is going to be there in that shoe car."