@LoveNLunchmeat: If someone dies from laced cocaine, does the coroner write "devastating blow" on the death certificate?
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@shawnspree: Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive.
@shariv67: When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, "I have now."
@WilliamAder: We're throwing a surprise retirement party for a guy at the office and the "party" isn't the surprise.
@EndhooS: [1st day at Subway] Boss: u said u'd done this before Me: [painting myself in marinara sauce] I'm really more of an abstract sandwich artist