@Midgetspar: If someone ever asks you for advice just reply with "Buy a penguin". Imagine a scenario where that isn't awesome.
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@QwertyJones3: Hangin with my peeps at the club. Biting their heads off, one by one. Enjoying their marshmallow deliciousness.
@girlontapas: I tried to let the wine breathe but it needed mouth to mouth. So who's the hero now?
@MomOnFire: Tell me again how your unborn child will not see a screen before she's 8. I want to write down your exact words.