@sploosk: If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year
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@MsNitnots: Girl in front of me on the bus just sent a text that was like a novel and the response was like a word and now even I'm pissed off about it.
@Tmoney68: God: "MOSES. THIS IS THE LORD. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR PEOPLE." Moses: "New burning bush. Who dis?"
@Chumpstring: SON: can i yell bomb at the airport DAD: no SON: can i yell boom DAD: what's wrong with u SON: how about "my dad smokes weed" DAD: boom's ok