@ColoradoUgly: If someone gives you a gift and you didn't get them one, hand it back to them politely and say, "I don't want this shit.".
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@Mostly_Cheese: *gets in taxi* Me: Wow it’s cold out there, my hand is freezing. Cabbie: Where to? Me: (putting on other glove) You know what, you’re right.
@Drivelodeon: Lady, you misunderstood. When I asked if you would have my kids I didn't mean sex and babies. I meant take the ones I already have.
@TheToddWilliams: [job interview] BOSS: We're looking for a real people person ME: Well I'm definitely a human