@deegeemindi: If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea.
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@big_1_Otis: I like to sit on my hands until they go numb so it feels like somebody else is doing my dishes.
@UncleDuke1969: "Mom?" "Yes?" "Are we having seafood for dinner?" "No, why?" "I heard Dad on the phone." "And?" "He said that he picked up a case of crabs."
@SuperRandomish: Fun prank: Just leave random "I'm sorry I hit your car" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent.
@MatCro: [Starbucks Assassins Inc] CHIEF: Write this down. Target's name is John BARISTA: [writes] Jamie C: Ok. Memorise it B: [eyes shut] Janet