@deegeemindi: If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea.
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@plank_sinatra: What if toilet plumbing was really like those tubes at the bank and all the tubes just went to this one guy's house and he's really pissed
@MenHumor: Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic.
@HeMightBeJason: Grabbed Pizza Roll. Thought "my god that is so hot it's burning my fingers" and immediately popped it in my mouth. I'm a goddamn genius.