@deegeemindi: If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@daemonic3: [first date] *Ok don't let her know you're a vampire* "Would you like a mint?" *reaches in pocket, pulls out SPF 5,000,000,000* "Dammit"
@Torriable: I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can't even afford A washer or a dryer
@weinerdog4life: If you say "NO YOURE UNDER ARREST" the cop legally has to get in the back of your car.
@OBiiieeee: If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic.