@Reverend_Scott: If someone is better at something than you, learn from them, let them teach you, or bathe in their blood so you can absorb their power.
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@candace_9871: Yah I ordered a large pizza but it's thin crust/ light cheese so basically it's a salad .
@TheMichaelRock: [at restaurant]] 8yo: why does mom eat half of your food? Me: because.. Wife *evil glare* Me *terrified* because I don't want it.
@AlexRogaski: [God making African animals] Screw it. Just put stripes on a horse, make that water lizard really big, and put spots on a really tall deer.
@matsmoustache: I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit.