@Try2StopME: If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad "iPhone 5S for $1 only"
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@leechee420: $10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that'd be a great name for my new baby!"
@ermahgarton: According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole.
@RobDenBleyker: If you commit a crime be sure to wear running clothes, so if you need to flee the scene cops will just think "Look at that healthy jogger"