@Brentweets: If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved.
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@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
@FABrezebabe: *does coke* *has unprotected sex* *smokes cigarettes* "oh haha no I don't drink soda because it's bad for you"
@TheCiscoKidder: Cop: Why did you burn that building down? Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.
@nicfit75: Neighbors having their yearly Xmas party. Not invited again. So don't tell me the screaming drunken outdoor fights don't pay off.