@dru0887: If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it's because they've just killed someone right?
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@TheSharona06: Oh, I see you're an extrovert. Sorry, we can't be friends. I already have a friend who's an extrovert. One of you is enough.
@jwoodham: Everyone's talking about how Shia LaBeouf plagiarized Daniel Clowes, but nobody said anything when Kristen Stewart plagiarized paint drying.
@SaraMansford: Maybe artists wouldn't be so starving all the time if they'd just eat all that fruit they're always painting.
@kcmoore51: 13: I have a friend that doesn't like baseball, chocolate, or bacon. Me: Pretty sure that's not a friend, bro.