@fusedude: If someone makes you want to murder them, don't hesitate to do it. That moment you wait is the difference between 1st and 2nd degree murder.
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@themcgillicutty: Wanna hear me read a receipt from a trip to the grocery store? That's how interested I am in listening to the details of your workout.
@wickedsuga: The earth revolves around the sun. So, I guess if you want me to revolve around you, you're gonna have to set yourself on fire.
@TheQuietPsycho: That moment where you playfully punch a kid in the grocery store, and only afterwards realize it wasn't yours.
@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.