@NYC_Blonde: If someone specifies that you're book-smart and not street-smart or street-smart but not book-smart, they're calling you stupid.
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@KalvinMacleod: INTERVIEWER: what’s your greatest strength? ME: I’m good at untying knots INTERVIEWER: oh thank god can u get these running shoes off of me?
@DamienFahey: Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. They found out today 7 minutes of his life wasn't photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook.