@Jandalize: On the Hot Wheels isle helping a friend pick out a sweet Corvette that she promised her 18yo for graduation. Life's all about the wording.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twitter comedian: I'm the greatest tweeter alive! Kanye: Even I don't want that title.

@cornlog: Canada has crack?

@9GAG: Cell phones ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.

@jonnysun: dave is coming over "normal dave or dave whos alwayes doing impressions of evrybody we know" [from outside] hi guyes, its normal dave "noooo