@jessokfine: If someone walks in on you hatching your evil plan, just tell them you were rubbing in some hand moisturizer.
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@dafloydsta: WIFE: The police are at the front door ME: *hiding a bag of donuts* Do they look mad?
@PJTLynch: Hospitals make mistakes with newborns, so before bringing yours home, check by rubbing its belly. If it curls in and bites you, that’s a cat
@TheBoydP: No generation will ever be joked about as much as millennials. Gen Z: Hold my tide pod...
@jonnysun: be careful when u talk baby talk to a baby becuase if u dont understand what ur saying u may acidentaly be declaring war in baby langauge