@AnotherFunnyGuy: If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlindChow: The remote isn't working! And the TV's stuck on Food Network again! "Are you in the kitchen?" Yes. "Honey, that's the microwave."
@Where__wolf: *covers kids eyes* "Hey Billy, guess who?" "Dad!" "Nope" "I knw its u dad. I know ur voice" "Its not ur dad" "Stop jking" "Ur adopted"
@david8hughes: [first day as coast guard] Boss: 7 people died on your watch today Me [looking off into the distance]: yes but the coast is fine