@AnotherFunnyGuy: If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.
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@ch000ch: ME, HOLDING A MIC TO MY DOG'S MOUTH: who's a good boy DOG: your mom ME: please take this seriously
@Brentweets: So nice of the Oscars to give this tribute to Selma then not nominate it for anything
@RandomAntics: He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.