@AnotherFunnyGuy: If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.
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@stevevsninjas: Dad: [tied to chair] You'll never make me talk. Bad Guy: *pulls back a velvet curtain revealing a wall with hundreds of thermostats*
@Snarfernini: Quick! What's protocol for when he opens my car door for me and just shy of 7,000 Sonic straw wrappers fall out?
@iwearaonesie: the hardest part of your wife going into labor is everyone interrupts the movie by asking questions
@ArfMeasures: ANAESTHETIST: Count backwards from 100 ME: 100..99..98 ME: ..3..2..1..um [looks round] now what? ANAESTHETIST [muffled] You have to find me