@Claytonsaurus: If spiders ever figure out how to become ghosts, we're screwed.
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@TheMichaelRock: Kanye West compared his relationship with Kim Kardashian to Romeo and Juliet. So we won't have to deal with them too much longer, you guys.
@lazy_joe_: "Yes, waiter, why does it say "there ain't no rats in it" next to the lasagna?": Cause there ain't no rats in it "But why woul AIN'T NO RATS
@britt_anylynn: The sign at the McDonald's I just passed says "We hiring" in case you're wondering what kind of qualifications you need to have to be hired.