@Claytonsaurus: If spiders ever figure out how to become ghosts, we're screwed.
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@PanicRestroom: Whenever I see someone posting a picture with a celebrity, I comment: "Who's that next to you?"
@Robert_Beau: The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside.
@MartaEffing: Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything.
@KeetPotato: me: "we put statues of you in every church and we all wear necklaces in your memory" jesus: "they better not be of me dying on a cross" me: jesus: me: jesus: "keith?"