@felixoshea: If Superman were a realtor, he could describe literally any apartment in the world as 'a stone's throw from the beach'.
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@trevso_electric: "Smells fresh. Like a tropical island." "Ok. Now take off the blindfold! Your family's been dead in this car for a week! We Febrezed it!"
@TheCatWhisprer: The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit.
@TheDreamGhoul: [job interview] "any questions?" yeah is it Pets Mart or Pet Smart? "ma'am this is a bank" I know but you seem like a man with some answers